Vitamin F

Why do I have a variety of friends who are all different in character ?

Some of them have obvious flaws, but then, so do I?.

How do I get on with them all ?

I think that each one helps to bring out a "different" part of me...

With one of them I am polite and as refined as I can manage.

I joke a lot with another.

I talk about serious matters with one.

With another I laugh a lot.

I share a glass of wine with one ,

And dance on occasion with another.

I listen to one friend's problems and give them advice,

Then I listen to another advising me.

They are all like pieces of a jigsaw,

When completed they form a treasure box.

A treasure of friends!

They are my friends who understand me better than I myself do, who support me through good days and bad days.

They are the anti-depressants that I need to make it through life.

Doctors tell us that friends are good for our health.

Dr. Oz calls them Vitamins F (for Friends) and recounts the many benefits of friends to our well being.

Research shows that people in strong social circles have less risk of depression and terminal strokes. If you take Vitamin F constantly you can be a lot younger than your physical age. The warmth of friendship reduces stress and candecrease your risk of cardiac arrest or stroke.

We should all value our friends and keep in touch with them.

All us Women

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'


2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'


3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'


4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
'Because I said so, that's why.'


5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'


6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'


7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'


8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'


9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'


10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'


11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'


12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times.. Don't exaggerate!'


13 My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'


14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
'Stop acting like your father!'


15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'


16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
'Just wait until we get home.'


17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'


18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'


19. My mother taught me ESP .
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'


20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'


21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'


22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'


23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'


24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'


25. And my favorite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!'

Mary had a little lamb

Mary, had a lttle Lamb,
His fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The Lamb was sure to go.
He followed her to school each day,
T'wasn't even in the rule.
It made the children laugh and play,
To have The Lamb at school.
And then the rules all changed one day,
Illegal it became;
To bring The Lamb of God to school,
Or even speak His Name!
Every day got worse and worse,
And days turned into years.
Instead of hearing children laugh,
We heard gun shots and tears.
What must we do to stop the crime,
That's in our schools today?
Let's let The Lamb come back to school,
And teach our kids to pray!

Worry

Is there a magic cut off period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in
The lives of their children and shrug, 'It's their life,' and feel nothing?


When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my daughter's head. I asked, 'When do you stop worrying?' The nurse said, 'When they get out of the accident stage.' My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.


When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, 'Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them.' My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.


When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, 'They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be adults.' My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.


By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle. There was nothing I could do about it. My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.


I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments. My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my dad's warm smile and his occasional, 'You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?' Can it be that parents are sentenced to al lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?


One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, 'Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried.'I smiled a warm smile.


The torch has been passed.

Noah's Ark

Noah's Ark Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark.


ONE: Don't miss the boat.


TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat!


THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built
the Ark.


FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.


FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.


SIX: Build your future on high ground.


SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.


EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.


NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.


TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.


ELEVEN: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

Christain One Liners

Don't let your worries get the best of you;
Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
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Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited...until you try to sit in
their pews.
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Many folks want to serve God,
but only as advisers.
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It is easier to preach ten sermons
than it is to live one.
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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose,
but mosquitoes come close.
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When you get to your wit's end,
you'll find God lives there.
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People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road,
and the back of the church.
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Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the front door forever.
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Quit griping about your church;
If it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
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If a church wants a better pastor,
it only needs to pray for the one it has.
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We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
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God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should
you?
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Some minds are like concrete:
Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
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Peace starts with a smile.
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I don't know why some people change churches;
What difference does it make which one you stay home from?
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A lot of church members singing 'Standing on the Promises' are just
sitting on the premises.
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Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.
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Stop, Drop, and Roll won't work in Hell.
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A coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
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Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
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Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
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Forbidden fruits create many jams.
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God doesn't call the qualified;
He qualifies the called.
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God grades on the cross, not the curve.
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God loves everyone, but probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over
'religious nuts!'
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God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
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He who angers you, controls you!
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If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
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Prayer:
Don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
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The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.
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The Will of God never takes you to where the
Grace of God will not protect you.
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We don't change the message;
the message changes us.
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You can tell how big a person is
by what it takes to discourage him.
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The best mathematical equation ever:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
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I am a kept women

I Am a 'Kept ' Woman?


You see, there were a few times when I thought I would lose my mind,
But GOD kept me sane. (Isa. 26:3)


There were times when I thought I could go no longer,
But the LORD kept me moving. (Gen 28:15)


At times, I've wanted to lash out at those whom I felt had done me wrong,
But the LORD kept my mouth shut.. (Psa. 13)


Sometimes, I think the money just isn't enough,but GOD has helped me to keep the lights on, the water on, the car paid, the house paid, etc.., (Matt. 6:25 -34)


When I thought I would fall, HE kept me up.
When I thought I was weak, HE kept me strong! (I Pet. 5:7, Matt. 11:28-30)


I could go on and on and on, but I'm sure you hear me!
I'm blessed to be 'kept'


I'm "Kept" by the Love and Grace of God

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Praise the Lord

There was a little old lady, who every morning stepped onto her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted: 'PRAISE THE LORD!'

One day an atheist moved into the house next door.

He became irritated at the little old lady. Every morning he'd step onto his front porch after her and yell: 'THERE IS NO LORD!'

Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way every day.

One morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped onto her front porch and shouted: 'PRAISE THE LORD! Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for me, oh Lord!

The next morning she stepped out onto her porch and there were two huge bags of groceries sitting there. 'PRAISE THE LORD!' she cried out. 'HE HAS PROVIDED GROCERIES FOR ME!'

The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted: 'THERE IS NO LORD; I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!'

The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted: 'PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM!'

Elderly Road Trip

Elderly Road Trip (Remind you of anyone you know?)

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.

As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, 'While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.

Women

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
Keep reading-they get better


WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet. I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)


I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root and still be afraid of a spider.


MARRIAGE SEMINAR


While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with family. Joe and his wife Ann listened to the instructor, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.' He addressed the man 'Can you name your wife's favorite flower? Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?


WIFE VS. HUSBAND


A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'


WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men. The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'


CREATION


A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you.


WHO DOES WHAT


A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee. Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee. Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.' So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'


The Silent Treatment


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM. He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.' Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

29 lines to make you smile

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs.A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few. Save the earth, it's the only planet with chocolate.