About Me

I have been called friend, sister, mom, wife, daughter and angel by so many wonderful ppl who I'm proud to know.

A wonderful friend of mine gave me the name Garden Angel because I absolutely love gardening. I also love to help people thus the Angel.

I used to be a perfectionist in every way, busy, driven, organized, and professional. The entry "The Brick" was me. There I was in my big important life zooming past people going about things that used to be so important to me. I worked very hard for all the things I had. I was very proud of who I was and all I had accomplished, then the brick flew through the air and everything I was changed in an instant.

In my hurry to all my accomplishments I lost one thing that mattered the most, my faith in God. Oh, I prayed but God was not number 1 in my life, I was. I believe that for many years God had been throwing pebbles at me, but it took the brick to get my attention. For despite all my worldly accomplishments my soul was sick for a very long time. Now that I have my life focused on God my soul has been healed, and despite everything I'm happier now than before.

The first pebble was when my hubby and I were hit by a drunk driver in 1995. I was driving and was hurt pretty bad. The FM started after that but I didn't know what it was till I got sick with HE.

The Brick came on Jan 23, 2001, the day my whole world changed. The person I once was, was gone in a split second. At first the Dr's told me it was a stroke, but my gut told me different. I had right sided numbness, yet the lesions on my brain were also on the right. I couldn't talk clearly, nor write by hand but I could type, my whole right side was numb, yet I could still use it. Short term memory was a thing of the past. Muti-tasking something I excelled at was completely gone.

I tried to go back to work pt but even the simplest job was impossible for me to do mentally. Even though my employer worked patiently with me day after day I couldn't retain even the simplest of tasks. I made tons of mistakes and never saw them. This was a bitter pill to swallow for me. My whole career was based on detail, organization and perfection. All of that was gone. After 8 months they let me go. I have never been fired from a job for job performance in my life.

Everything at home had changed too. At first it wasn't easy for my family or me to come to terms with this new person. I was no longer able to be the superwomen I once was and learning how to deal with all the new limitations was a real struggle for all of us.

Everything in my life is an adjustment, a compromise in some way for either my family or me. Simple daily tasks which we all take for granted took days or weeks to figure out how to do them again. Depression was a beast I had to learn how to tame.

One day after I prayed for God to tell me what was wrong with me I once again turned to the computer; there God brought me to a story. The story was of Beverly and she had something called Hashimoto's Encephalopathy (HE). As I read her story I felt that she was writing about me. When I read about Type 1 HE I knew what was wrong with me. Now I had an answer but convincing a Doctor who never heard of HE was a whole new challenge one I’m still fighting today.

HE is a very rare condition, only about 40 documented cases in the whole US. Due to the small number of cases there is very little research done. No research also means there is no set treatment and each case like FM is different. So most Doctors have never heard of HE and the ones that have heard of it have never treated anyone with it.

What is HE? Hashimoto's Encephalopathy (HE) it is a neuroendocrine disorder - meaning it affects both the endocrine system, and the neurological (nervous) system. It is progressive, possibly deadly and incurable. It can be slowed down, or put into remission, but the damage done by each HE storm is permanent. I don't know what the future holds, how long remission will last, nor what the next HE storm will take from me or what new symptom I will have, and there is no Dr that can tell me either. So we go from one treatment to the next blindly looking for the answer. Trusting that God will lead me through.

One of the best things my Doctor did was to send me to a Whole Health Clinic to help me deal with the pain. They specialize in FM. The process you go through involves all aspects of your life, physical, mental and daily living skills. I learned how to deal and adjust everything in my life to cope with both my FM and HE. The most important thing I learned I learned from Tom, a wonderful spiritual counselor who saved my soul. He taught me how to accept this new me and to look toward my gifts and go on. So my life now is nothing like it was before, but I have found purpose and a wonderful new life that sometime I feel is much more rewarding than the old life.

It took me 2.5 yrs to get approved for SSI. In that time we lost our house, my car, all my retirement savings and a whole way of life that is now only a faded memory. I know these are just things, yes I miss them, but I have gained so much more.

God has blessed me with so many miracles and given me more than I could ever explain. He has walked with me, guided me and carried my many burdens. He has also changed my husband's soul and brought both of us through together. We live much simpler than before, but our life together walking with God is far richer than we could ever dream. I have a closer bond to my family. I share the word of God and hope with more people all over America than I ever did before. God has granted me peace in so many ways and I try to share that with everyone I meet.

I have a great faith and that gets me through each day. I thank God for each day, for each moment. I don't worry about the future, I leave that to God. For worrying about something I can do nothing about robs me of the time I can find joy in my life. I would rather focus on that joy then worry about what I have no control over.

Today have no fear of the future, for I'm happy today and at peace with the life and path God has chosen for me. Tomorrow I may struggle with fear and pain, but then I will remember to pray, keep moving forward, and let God take the burden for me. In the end I will find that peace again.

I have found a few pleasures in my life. True joys in my life. Gardening is one of those things. It does become more difficult every year, but I won't stop. For it is my therapy and a link to God. I feel closer to God in the garden than anywhere else on earth. In the cold winters I do painted stain glass, projects around the apt, puzzles, and talk to my many wonderful friends on the computer.

I have found 3 things to be true and I try very hard to live my life by these 3 things.

Take one thing at a time, one moment, one step. Worrying about the future is a waste of energy. If you are worried about something you have no control over what good will worrying do. If it’s something you can change then change it. If it’s something you can’t change give it to the Lord and he will take care of it.

Trust in the Lord and He will show you the path to follow, all you need do is be still and listen. Sometime when everything seems to be going wrong, think is it because you are trying to take control of your life, and forgetting to trust in the Lord for wisdom and guidance. When I feel like this I remind myself to be still and let the Lord lead me and give it all to him. He has never let me down and has always brought me through and back to peace.

And the Golden Rule is to never judge another, for there is only one judge and that is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

This blog is a big step in the path God has placed before me. I hope it gives all who read it the same healing of their soul that I have found in God.